Wednesday, April 18, 2012

God's Great Goodness

I don't even really know where to begin with this. I am not usually an overly personal sharer. I am by nature a very private person. So much so that people generally don't know what's going on with me until it is over. This is one of those times.

My husband and I have been married for two and a half years. We knew that when we got married that we wanted to have kids. We decided to wait a year and then start trying. Well that came and went, and nothing. Months and months and months passed, and if you have ever been through that, you know just how difficult that can be. Getting your hopes up every month and then nothing. I really struggled with this. Really, really struggled. I questioned why God would give me such a desire, if He wasn't going to fulfill it. My husband, however, has been my rock. His faith in God and God's timing has been what has gotten us through this experience.

After a year of this roller coaster of emotions, we asked for some advice and help from my doctor. My doctor is amazing. He is a Christian man who has prayed with us on a number of occasions. He scheduled all sorts of tests to see if there was anything wrong and then we began the waiting. When we finally saw him a month later, we were so excited. But our excitement quickly turned to disappointment when he told us that we probably could not have a baby on our own. I had a really difficult time accepting this news. I cannot tell you how often I cried and begged God for answers. The doctor referred us to a reproductive clinic and we decided to wait until after the holidays to go. Honestly, I just needed some time. I didn't want to hear the bad news all over again. I didn't feel like I could bear it.

Then in February, out of nowhere, we found out we were expecting! Leave it to God to show that He is more powerful than anything we could put our trust in. We never went to the clinic that we had been referred to. We shared that with our doctor today, and his words were, "I just love when God shows off like that!" We know that this is a special little blessing that God has given us and we are so incredibly thankful and humbled by what He has done.

In December, when I was in the depths of despair, I heard this song and it really put things in perspective for me. God knows what He is doing. His timing is perfect. I need to not only trust Him, but trust in His timing as well.


Blessings
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise



We saw the baby today. Heard a heartbeat and everything and the doctor said everything looks perfect. So, my friends and fellow bloggers, join me in this celebration! We are welcoming a baby to our home in October! 


Our family is growing by 2 feet :)