Finding a balance

We are about 7 weeks into the new school year, and I am really struggling to find a balance between being a good wife and a good teacher. I feel like when I am doing great things at school, my home life is a mess. The opposite is also true. I try to remind myself that God will not give me more than I can handle, but that doesn't always give me the comfort that I need.

I love what I do. I love teaching. I honestly feel that I am called to be a teacher. Really, what other job can you play games, talk about bugs, and do art projects all day? Ok, I do a bit more than that. I love the challenge of teaching. I love watching a student understand something for the first time. I love getting to celebrate small victories with my students, like finally understanding how to change a mixed number to an improper fraction. I love that every day in the classroom is an adventure. There are no two days the same.

I also love being a wife. I love my husband and I love to cook dinner for him and clean the house and do the laundry and all those other chores. (let me clarify...I love doing those chores for him...I don't actually love cleaning) I love having time to spend with my husband in the evenings and on weekends. We love a quiet night in or a date night out.

My problem is that I want to be perfect at both things. I want to be the perfect wife and the perfect teacher. Deep down, I know this isn't possible, but I am trying. And usually failing at one or the other. The other day, I had a small meltdown because we didn't have any groceries. I couldn't even imagine finding a time to get to the store to get the groceries. I felt like a terrible wife. Especially when the only decent thing I have made for my husband for dinner this week came out of a take-out bag.

When I feel like I am being successful in taking care of my husband and home, I feel like I am a terrible teacher. I want to do more in the classroom than I actually do. I want to have extra activities and I want them to look effortless.

I know that this year will fall into place soon. I know that. And perhaps the whole point of this blog is to help myself realize that. Every year, I feel overwhelmed, and every year I get on track, and everything eventually straightens itself out. But until that happens, I am going to keep trying to master the balancing act I have going on, all why trying to look like I am not completely crazy.