What I don't want for Christmas

Everyone has a list of the things that they want for Christmas, and I am no exception. This year I even slipped a note to my husband detailing the things I would like to have. He is a great gift-giver though, so I don't have to worry. But everyone has things that they don't want. These are things no one talks about. I heard a story on the radio that people are creating a wish list to send to family and friends, almost like a gift registry for Christmas, which I think is stupid. If someone knows me, then they know what I would or wouldn't like, and they don't need me to come up with a list of the things I want. But in the true spirit of things, here are some items that top my don't buy list:

the Snuggie

This one is on my list for many reasons. I don't want to wear a blanket. I would be embarrassed if someone saw me in this. I don't want a gift that encourages me to be lazy. I also don't think my husband would like me in this look.

The self-help book

This one is a no-brainer. If you give a book on self-help, you think a person needs help. I don't want a gift from you that says you think I need to be a better person, lose weight, find a better career, etc.

the wooden teacher gift

Yes, I am a teacher. But I am only a teacher by day. At night, I go home to my house. My house does not look like a classroom. It is filled with things that I love. Wooden apple signs are not a natural part of my home decor. Now, if I do get something like this, and I usually do, I keep it in my classroom.

The "I can't believe all that was only $9.99 make-up kit"

These always seem like a good idea. I am a girl and I do wear make up. However, the make up that I use has been tested over many years. I know what I like. I have tried every product out there and I know just which one won't make me itchy, oily, shiny, blotchy, etc. Plus, no one needs this much make up, unless you are auditioning for Cirque du Soleil.

The bath basket

This one is a little tricky. I love to receive things I will actually use. I shower, so I like a nice fresh scented shower gel. I also like soft skin, so I don't mind a good lotion. But these fall under the same category as the make up kit. No one needs this much stuff. Usually I don't know what to do with half of it. And when they come in bulk like this, for some reason, they are always unusual scents, like rosemary freesia or wild tulip barnyard. Save your money. Go to Bath and Body Works and get me a hand sanitizer instead. Or something else you know I will use.

Cheesy Christmas themed gift

These are always funny. But only for a minute or so. Then, they just become something that sits in a closet or attic for 11 months. Plus, whoever gave it will be looking for it at my house every year after that. If you want to give a Christmas-themed gift, consider something edible. Never underestimate the simple things. Give some unique homemade Christmas cookies or candies in a cute bag or tin and viola! you have given a great gift!

The stuffed animal

 This is not the perfect gift for me for 2 reasons.  First, I am 31 years old, and I don't still have stuffed animals on my bed. Secondly, stuffed animals creep me out. It's the little beady eyes. They seem to gleam in the dark. This is just one of those things that is unusual about me.

Ceramic figurine

If you know me, you know I don't like clutter. This would just gather dust and sit on a shelf. Plus, I don't collect anything, so this isn't the gift for me either.

Chia anything

This one is a must-give! I want to give this to everyone on my list, but I really don't want one. I think they are hilarious, but I don't really have the urge to grow anything.

The flu

That's right! I don't want your diseases! If you have a runny nose, a cough, or other gross ailment, keep it to yourself. Don't hug me, don't shake my hand, don't lick an envelope and then give it to me. I would like to spend the holidays without the aftertaste of Nyquil on my tongue.




These are the top things on my list of things I don't want for Christmas. What things top your list?

I am a bag lady

I am a teacher. I have a lot of bags. This sounds fairly normal. However, some days I look a lot sillier than others and today is no exception. On a typical day of school, I leave the house with my purse, my school bag, my lunch box, and a cup of coffee. Normally I can balance all of these things with no problem. Today, well not so much.

I was on my way home from school and I only had my purse, lunchbox and coffee cup. I had a couple of errands to run. At the first shop, I picked up a gift that was in a bag. The bag was about the size of a Wal-mart sack. Nothing too tricky. Then it was off to CVS to get some gift boxes...you know the ones that you can wrap clothes in. Well, the man at the cash register said they were out of large bags, so I decided I could just carry these out under my arm. (I also had photos to pick up...he said, "Your purse is plenty big enough for these")

So, now I have photos in my purse, gift boxes, the gift I picked up at the 1st shop, and my purse, my lunchbox and coffee cup. Well, it is Wednesday, and so with church and Master's Clubs, my husband and I don't see each other until after service. Usually we just pick up some fast food and eat when it is convenient. I was craving some tots from Sonic, so I drove thru, got my burger, tots, drink and then headed home.

After checking the mail, which had a letter, a box, and a newspaper, I put my car in park, looked across the seat and began to determine the best way to get all my stuff in the house. By the way, it is COLD right now!! So, I decide that I will make it inside in just one trip. This is always my goal, but today it seemed like my only option. It was just too cold to come back out. And I didn't want to walk up those steps twice.

I begin this little journey by shoving as many things in my purse as will fit, so in go the newspaper, the small box from the mailbox and the letter. Then I start grabbing as many things as I can to get out of the car. (Maybe this is a good time to mention that I am wearing a skirt and heels) I hook my purse and lunchbox onto my left arm, tuck the gift boxes and coffee cup under my arm, grab everything else with my right hand, and begin to ever so gracefully exit my car. Immediately I can see that this is not going to be a success, but before I can do anything about it, I dropped my food on the ground and my tater tots went EVERYWHERE!! I contemplated picking them up, but I decided it was not meant to be.

So, for my second attempt, I try to use speed. If I hurry, I will make it! This starts out pretty well, I make it up the steps, but now to get into the house. My keys were in my pocket. I adjusted my stuff, and got the keys, all the while doing the potty dance, cause the cold makes me have to go, and opened the door. I nearly tripped over another box that was at the door step, but I made it!! SUCCESS!!!!!! I was in the house! And now to set my stuff down. I opted for the loveseat, because it is a good landing spot for stuff. I dropped everything there just as my drink slipped out of my hand and spilled all over the coffee table.

What an evening. Have I learned anything from this? No! I will try this again. Daily. Because 2 trips is uncalled for. And I will fail miserably.

What a week!

So over the past week, my husband and I have encountered a few unpleasant circumstances. Last Thursday, he went to the dr. to have a pain in his ribs checked. The dr was concerned about the pain and some abnormal test results, so he sent my husband to a cardiologist. This terrified me! My husband came to my classroom to tell me the news and I immediately called for a sub, and we left for the appointment.

While at the cardiologist's office, the dr completed a few more tests, and finding them to be normal, he then proceeded to tell us that he wanted more tests run at the hospital. Now I was in a state of panic! I am a worrier and this worried me tremendously. They completed the tests at the hospital and sent us home.

Now, my husband is the voice of calm and reason...this is a really good thing, because I am a SPAZ!!!! The thought that there could be something wrong with my husband's heart or lungs sent me to the crazy place. I cried, I whined, I worried, and of course picked a fight or two because I was so nervous. And we had to wait an entire week before we would know anything.

Then, yesterday, we visited the cardiologist again. We were there for 6 hours. SIX HOURS!! This was torture for me. Anyone who knows me, knows what an impatient person I am. I hate to wait. I HATE to wait. But, I impatiently waited anyway. For six hours. Most of this time I had to sit alone in the waiting room. This proved to be somewhat entertaining though! I always see the funniest things.

I am by nature a people watcher, and boy there were some people to watch in this waiting room. The first thing I saw, or rather, heard was a woman sitting 3 seats down from me. She obviously had been waiting a while and she was a little tired...maybe a lot tired! This woman was passed out and snoring loudly. Of course everyone is noticing this, but apparently I was the only one in the waiting room who found this to be HILARIOUS! Naturally, I took out my phone, pretended to be talking on it, and took the following:


 

Someone is tired!

Then, just when I have recovered from this sight, in walks three men in shackles, handcuffs and white uniforms. They were accompanied by 2 armed guards. This of course is unusual, so this time, I decided to pretend to be texting when I captured this image:

Men from the Pen

 

 

This was too much for me! I was almost out of control by this point. Everyone else in the waiting room managed to keep their composure, but I was not able to do so.

As I looked around to see who else was looking at these people in the waiting area, I noticed that everyone there was at least 50, if not older. And here I was with my 33 year old husband. This was enough to help me regain my focus and I began to forget about the people who were distracting me. I began to worry about my husband again.

Finally, after waiting for what seemed like forever, my husband returned and we went to get lunch. The dr. told him to eat something fatty and drink some caffeine, because it would help flush his body of the things that had been injected. We went to 5 Guys and had just what the doctor ordered.

When we got back to the dr, we waited some more, then Juan went back for a while, and then the head nurse came and called me back. I got to go back into the back and...you guessed it....wait some more! Juan and I watched the weather channel for what seemed like an eternity and then they eventually led us to where his final test would be.

He was having an echo-cardiogram. This was fascinating. I got to watch as they looked at his heart on an ultrasound monitor. The technician turned on the speakers and we listened to his heart beat very loudly. Then we waited again for a nurse to come in and inject something into his arm that would put bubbles in his blood, which when they traveled to the heart, would indicate if there was a hole in his heart. When this test was over, we were led to the waiting room again to wait for our turn to see the doctor.

In case you were wondering, the sleeping woman had left but the inmates were still there.

When we were called to see the doctor we went to the patient room and waited for about 45 minutes to see the doctor. He peeked his head in once to tell us that he had not received all of the results of the tests yet, and so we continued waiting. Eventually, the doctor came back with the best news I have received all week. There was nothing that he could find. He looked at everything. There were no holes in the heart, no blood clots in the lung, everything was normal.

What a blessing. It reminded me of a song that our ladies trio used to sing at Cornerstone. It was called "A Storm Now and Then". The words speak of how God puts His children through tough times so that He can make us strong. I was so relieved and so anxious to leave that I didn't immediately recognize that God had something to teach me through all of this. This has been an incredibly tough week, but God had a goal and a purpose. He never left my side; He never stopped caring. He simply wanted to make me strong.