3 Reasons I Will Not Be Mother of the Year

So, just in case you were thinking of nominating me for various "mother of the year" awards, please consider the following 3 atrocities. Now, mind you, I have read all the books about babies and baby care and parenting. I really have no explanation for these things, other than the lack of sleep.


1. Now, this first one could happen to anyone, at least that is what I keep telling myself. So, it's Wednesday night and I am about to leave my sweet, cranky baby in the church nursery. As a service to the nursery worker, I was going to change his diaper before leaving him. Just as I began to pull his diaper off and reach into my diaper bag, I was surprised to find zero diapers in my bag. So, now I have a crankier baby who has an entirely full diaper and nothing to change him into. I texted my husband and asked him to race home and grab diapers. Thankfully, he raced back with them before it was too late.

2. This moment also happened in the church nursery. Apparently, this is my place for embarrassing moments. I had been sitting with the baby in the service and he got crazy and I had to take him out. I was changing his diaper again, when suddenly he did what everyone warns you about. He tinkled on everything! Soaked his clothes, puddled the changing pad, and sprinkled the wall. I worked to clean up the mess and dry off sweet Zander, then reached into the diaper bag to see what I could change him into. What do I find? A burp cloth and a baby blanket. AND NOTHING ELSE!! Now, in Alabama, it never gets too cold, but this was a Sunday night and it was about 45 degrees outside. Too cold for just a baby in a diaper. Naturally, I had to do what any self-respecting mom would do...wrap the burp cloth around his shoulders and then swaddle him in the blanket and sneak out of church before any one could notice.

3. Lastly, this one just occurred today. I was washing a million loads of clothes. (The million loads were from baby poo blowouts, but that is neither here nor there!) As I was throwing a load of baby clothes into the dryer, something unusual caught my eye. As I lifted this unusual thing out of the washer, I noticed that it was extremely heavy and I didn't recognize it immediately. Upon closer examination, I concluded that it was an inside out diaper. This wouldn't be a big deal at all if I were cloth diapering. This was a disposable diaper. I am sure it was used, because the trash can and the laundry basket are right next to each other in Z's room. It was HUGE! Those suckers sure can absorb! And it was clean too. Not a stain of poo left in it! I might be onto something here! Maybe the disposable ones can be reused? Ok, probably not.

Yes, that is a newborn diaper. 

Then there is the inside view:

Clean as can be!

So, there you have it! Three very good reasons to not vote for me as mother of the year.