- Can I touch your belly? My response to this one is going to be, "only if I can touch yours first." I don't mind if my husband touches my baby bump, but I feel like anyone else doing it is inappropriate. At least now. I am only 4 months along and am a total freak show under my shirt, and touching it makes me even more uncomfortable. I don't think I will mind people touching my belly when it has its own zip code, but for now, hands off please.
- I just named my new puppy _________ (insert FAVORITE name for new baby) Really, people? Do you have to name your dogs people names? And must they be the one name I am completely in love with for our baby? This has happened twice now! This is one of the reasons we won't be sharing our names until the baby arrives.
- I know someone who had ___________ complication. I don't know why people only share the worst possible things that can happen in pregnancy, but that seems to be the only things they share with me. The last thing I want to hear is all the ways something can go wrong. I need positive comments.
- Oh, ______________ happened? It's probably the worst case scenario. The baby was on the right? There's something wrong. You've been sick? There's something wrong. You haven't been sick? There's something wrong. I have learned that no pregnancy will go exactly as the book says it will. And I know that if I get anxious and stressed that it can't be good for the baby. So I try to stay positive. I try not to jump to the worst case scenario.
- WOW! You're huge! No woman likes to hear this any time, but especially when your body is being taken over by another human being. My regular clothes won't button. Maternity clothes don't fit well. I don't feel like a cute pregnant woman, but rather a blob of blubber.
- You should name the baby ______________. I really don't mind hearing suggestions from people on great baby names, but when people won't back down on a name they love, I get a little frustrated. It's like they feel as though it's their baby, and if I don't choose their name, they get offended. We have some rules about names. No J's. Nothing like Banjo or Wingspan or Zoolander. And really, it's our choice.
- How much weight have you gained? This is a completely inappropriate question to ask any woman at any time, but when I am a hormonal disaster, it is the worst question ever.
Got any positive stories? Got any compliments? No? Then lie to me! Please:)
Is the "no Zoolander" thing set in stone? Kal-El is still on the table though, right?
ReplyDeleteYou're hilarious, Jill! And, "I knooooow! Some people just don't know how to stay out of someone else's space, do they?" And, you are right. If someone wants to insist on a certain baby name, why don't they just have one/another one of their own? Then, they can name it what they want! I am totally supportive of all that you just said. Just make sure you name it what I like! :-)
ReplyDeleteI was cracking up as I read this - You are a hoot! I think you and Juan are the cutest couple and you'll make great parents - can't wait for that little one to arrive!!!
ReplyDeleteLOVE it!!! I have always hated being at baby showers where women share their HORROR story with a first time mom!! I am thankful that I did not have horror story deliveries, and have always been able to share good stories with new mom to be's!! Keep plucking along and KNOW that your choice is what is BEST!! Drug free, or epidural as soon as you can is up to you. Enjoy your pregnancy for it is one of the best times until you hold your future child.
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